Calm Down with Vergence Brainspotting: A Self-Soothing Technique
What is brainspotting?
Before we jump into the vergence calming strategy, you might be wondering, “What exactlyis brainspotting?”
Brainspotting therapy is a brain-based therapy that quickly accesses emotions by guiding eye gazes. This method taps into the body’s natural means of healing itself. Think about how you catch yourself staring off into space at the office—that’s brainspotting at work.
Vergence: a Type of Brainspotting
Vergence is a calming strategy I use when a client comes to the end of a session, but we haven’t fully finished processing their feelings. Often, they need de-escalate enough to get through their day. I also use vergence when my clients are overwhelmed, having a panic attack, when their minds are racing, or when they’re overall just having a hard time calming down in their bodies.
Vergence doesn’t take away the thing we’re anxious about, but it does help us to feel more calm and present in our bodies. Unlike certain self-soothing techniques like deep breathing (which can still be helpful), vergence is a lot easier to perform.
A Self-soothing Technique for the Nervous System
There are two systems at work when we are stressed, overwhelmed, and panicked—the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.
Sympathetic nervous system
With the sympathetic nervous system, the brain is saying “something is coming. Something really big and really dangerous. We have to gear up for it.” We move to fight, flight, or freeze mode.
This system injects our bodies with adrenaline and cortisol, which causes muscle tensions, tingling in hands and legs; it gears us up to feel like we need to run away or fight. It jump starts the system and a lot goes on—heavy breathing, mind racing, stomach churching. Classic symptoms of anxiety.
However, the sympathetic nervous system is just doing its job. It’s good because it gears us up when we have to fight or run away and protect ourselves from dangerous situations. But when this system is activated in a manner that doesn’t fit our situation or is “suck on”, then it can be difficult for us to calm down. Using vergence as a calming strategy kicks in the parasympathetic nervous system.
Parasympathetic nervous system
Once we have assessed that the threat has passed, this system kicks in and calms us down. It slows the heart rate, slows breathing, and initiates physical relaxation sensations.
Breathing and meditation can help bring on parasympathetic reaction. But when you’re already having a hard time breathing, telling someone to breathe, or focus on their breath, doesn’t always help. That’s where vergence comes in.
How to Use Vergence
Read the steps or watch the video below to master this brainspotting calming strategy.
Start by using a reference point (such as a pen) about six inches from your face.
Focus your eyes on this close point.
Then, look through the point to a point far away.
Alternate between the two points every few seconds in a rhythm.
Do this for 3-5 minutes for parasympathetic nervous system benefits to kick in (you can set your phone alarm to ensure correct duration).
As part of a self-care routine, this is a great activity to do before bed. If you’re having a stressful day and taking that anxiety into bed with you, vergence can be a very useful self-soothing technique to calming down quickly.
Hi, I’m Melinda
I’m a therapist who uses the Enneagram and Brainspotting to help 20 & 30-somethings understand and change unhelpful patterns, love themselves, and navigate all the big transitions and emotions that come with where they are in life.
WHAT MY CLIENTS OFTEN LOOK LIKE:
1) Empaths and “HSPs” who feel deeply and are afraid that something is “wrong” with them or have been told that they are too “sensitive”
2) Helpers or “over-givers” who want healthier relationships with themselves and others
3) Enneagram enthusiasts who want to grow
4) Premarital and young couples wanting to start their marriage off on the right foot