What Does Self Care Mean?
What Does Self Care Mean?
There’s a lot of buzz around self care. We hear how important it is in daily life and that we need to practice it regularly. But what does self care really mean? What does it look like? Even as a therapist I can lose sight of that at times.
As an enneagram type 2, it’s really easy for me to fall out of touch with myself, my body, my feelings, my needs. Practicing self care helps me get back on track with all of it.
We might think about self care as taking time for yourself, relaxing in a bubble bath, journaling, etc.—and it certainly can be! But self-care really encompasses every area of our lives. I am constantly reminding myself to think about self-care in each area of my life, not just making a quiet space to look inward.
Self Care Wheel
I use this self care wheel reference sheet to help me think about the ways I already practice self care (or areas I can focus on practicing self care). This is something I use with my clients too, and together we brainstorm the possibilities of self care in each aspect of their daily lives.
A chart titled, Holistic Self-Care, has 6 empty boxes labeled as follows. Environmental, physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social.
Environmental Self Care
Decorative. A bedroom has a dresser, a mirror, a basket of blankets, and a few plants.
This domain deals with our space and surroundings. Filling your home and working space with things that are beautiful, calming, and important to you can be a great way to practice environmental self care. Even keeping your space tidy can be huge! Although, with a toddler running around the house, that one is much easier said than done in my own space.
Things to consider:
Where are you living?
What does your space look like?
Do you have plants? Candles?
Are you surrounded by things you love?
Try to create a space that engages your 5 senses.
Physical Self Care
Decorative. A person holds their hands together in a yoga position.
This one is pretty straightforward. We have to take care of our bodies. If you’re like me, it can be easy to get caught up in the currents of life and feel out-of-touch with our bodies and our bodies’ needs altogether. (Fellow moms of young kids—I’m sure you’re also familiar with not getting enough sleep.)
Things to consider:
How do you take care of your body?
Do you work out? Take walks?
Do you go to the doctor and dentist regularly or when needed?
What do you eat on a regular basis?
Are you getting enough sleep?
Are you taking time off busy schedules to help your body rest and fuel up when needed?
Emotional Self Care
Decorative. A wave rushes over a beach.
Emotional self-care, or psychological self-care, might be the type of self-care you’re most familiar with. It’s also the one I struggle the most with. Practicing emotional self-care deals with feeling your feelings, processing emotions, understanding your needs, and being gentle with yourself.
As a type 2 and a therapist, I’m generally very outwardly focused, so it’s hard for me to look inward and process. But it is a journey of growth that I am working towards, and emotional self care is just one part of a full self care picture.
Things to consider:
How do you process your emotions?
Are you taking the time to feel your feelings?
When you process your feelings, what do you discover about yourself? What do you need?
Would seeing a therapist help make these tasks easier?
When you make a mistake, do you practice self-forgiveness and self-kindness? (When I am having a hard time forgiving myself for mistakes, I imagine I am talking to a friend. It’s much harder to beat yourself up over a mistake than be hard on a friend for theirs.)
Spiritual Self Care
Decorative. A man sits on top of a vehicle, overlooking the sunsetting over a large field.
This act of self-care connects us to something beyond ourselves. It can mean a lot of things. Maybe it is church or another kind of spiritual community. Maybe it’s spending time in nature or volunteering in the community. Something that inspires that sense of “awe.”
Things to consider:
If you’re part of a formal spiritual community, does it help you feel connected to something beyond yourself?
What makes you feel a sense of purpose?
What makes you feel connected to a larger society?
What kind of activities might tap into this feeling for you? Gardening? Yoga? Prayer? Engaging in social justice work?
Intellectual Self Care
Decorative. A person sits in bed with a book in hand.
Intellectual self-care has to do with things that engage your mind. Things like reading, puzzles, fulfillment in your profession. As a mom, I sometimes feel like I have less and less time for intellectual self-care outside of work, but focusing energy on intellectual growth is something I value greatly, especially professionally.
Things to consider:
What kinds of activities fulfill you?
What are you reading?
Are you learning something new in your daily life?
What engages you on an intellectual level?
What kind of people engage you intellectually?
Social Self Care
Decorative. Two people gear up for a high five on a beach as the sun sets over the water.
This area of self-care deals with our connections and communities. Who we surround ourselves with can be a huge part of our personal self care. Though it can take some missteps (I’ve been there), surrounding yourself with people who support your growth is a big act of self care.
Things to consider:
Who are you connected to?
Do you have a community of people to turn to?
Who are the people in your life that help support your growth?
Who helps you learn and change? Who lends comfort and care?
How to Use the Self Care Wheel
The self-care wheel is a great guide to generate ideas about self care, but finding a starting point can still be pretty tough. I try to ask myself, “What emotions have been coming up? Is it fear? Anxiety? Exhaustion? Overwhelm? Sadness?” It can be really hard for me to sit in my feelings, but I challenge myself with taking an inventory. Sometimes, I have to take a deep breath and write them down.
Using the self care wheel helps me make an assessment of what is really lacking. When I’m looking at the physical self care domain, I notice my own physical exhaustion. It helps me realize that this is where I need to practice self care more.
When I take the time to sit with my feelings while I work through the wheel, it helps me find clarity. I notice I’m feeling anxiety, so going through each domain of the self care wheel helps me understand my needs. “Where am I feeling that anxiety? Do I need more support socially? Do I need more emotional care by going to a therapist? Do I need something bigger than myself to take me out of where I am?”
Though it isn’t easy to set aside the time, thing about our feelings, and understand what self care means for us, it is so, so important. When I practice self care, it helps me do a better job of helping others. Instead of giving from an empty cup, I am fully engaged in my work and relationships, and giving from a full cup is so much easier and more fulfilling.
Hi, I’m Melinda
I’m a therapist who uses the Enneagram and Brainspotting to help 20 & 30-somethings understand and change unhelpful patterns, love themselves, and navigate all the big transitions and emotions that come with where they are in life.
WHAT MY CLIENTS OFTEN LOOK LIKE:
1) Empaths and “HSPs” who feel deeply and are afraid that something is “wrong” with them or have been told that they are too “sensitive”
2) Helpers or “over-givers” who want healthier relationships with themselves and others
3) Enneagram enthusiasts who want to grow
4) Premarital and young couples wanting to start their marriage off on the right foot