Life as an Ennegream Type 8
Enneagram Type 8
My therapist colleague, aka “work wife”, aka BFF Joanne Kim (OliveMe Counseling) and I are crafting a blog series about the Enneagram, a deeply insightful and multi layered personality framework that reveals our unconscious, “autopilot” patterns of engaging in the world.
In this series, someone from each Enneagram Type (Types One through Nine) will be sharing about their own journey of discovering and using the Enneagram for deep healing and personal growth.
In todays’s post, we’ll be hearing from Marianna Torres.
Other posts in the series:
What is it like to be an Enneagram Type 8?
Being an Eight feels a bit like a blessing and a curse, depending on how healthy I’m feeling emotionally. When I’m at my best, I can be positive, loyal, generous, and supportive. On the other hand, when I’m not operating at my best, I can quickly turn arrogant, demanding and rigid.
In my professional life, being an Eight is what makes me very effective at my job in law enforcement. In my close intimate relationships, Eight is not so great (at least in my experience).
What I love most about being an Eight is that I have a soft side and hard side. I have the ability to take charge and assert myself when I need to, yet be tender and loving. I believe this is the ultimate superpower of being an Eight!
When Did You Realize You Were Ennegram Type 8?
I was newly married and became a step-mother to five children when I turned 41 years old. I quickly realized that I had stepped into one of the greatest challenges of my life! Nothing could have prepared me for what lay ahead.
My marriage started to fall apart shortly after the wedding and my relationship problems became more evident as time passed. I had done years of 12 step recovery work, talk therapy, EMDR, and read countless self help books, but I still felt completely lost with who I was at my core.
In early 2021, I decided to explore myself in a way that I never had before.
Intuitively, I booked a solo trip to Sedona, Arizona and enrolled in a three-day holistic retreat that I found on an internet search. Thankfully I had total faith that my retreat was going to be exactly what I needed.
My very first session was with a founding member of the Arizona Enneagram Association. This lovely woman helped me to understand myself on a much deeper level and introduced me to my Eight’ness.
What do you wish people knew about enneagram type 8s?
I wish people knew how to understand my assertive nature and to not take it like a personal attack. I want people to know just how incredibly soft and gentle Eights are on the inside. Eight’s are strong but they definitely need a soft place to land after they’ve been holding it together all day.
One thing you’re working on to grow beyond your type
I am continuously reminding myself to lead with my heart first. I am working towards being more open and vulnerable with other people and becoming more gentle. This doesn’t come easy to this Eight but I’m proud of the strides I’m making.
More About Marianna
Marianna is a person who has worked extremely hard to overcome adversity and find self worth! She is proud of the work done to get this far. Marianna is gay, a latina, a veteran, a police woman, a mother, a friend, a mentor, a daughter, and a lifetime seeker of spiritual, and emotional growth.
interested in learning your enneagram & growing through enneagram counseling?
Hi, I’m Melinda
I’m a therapist who uses the Enneagram and Brainspotting to help 20 & 30-somethings understand and change unhelpful patterns, love themselves, and navigate all the big transitions and emotions that come with where they are in life.
WHAT MY CLIENTS OFTEN LOOK LIKE:
1) Empaths and “HSPs” who feel deeply and are afraid that something is “wrong” with them or have been told that they are too “sensitive”
2) Helpers or “over-givers” who want healthier relationships with themselves and others
3) Enneagram enthusiasts who want to grow
4) Premarital and young couples wanting to start their marriage off on the right foot