Enneagram Therapy
Learn to show up in your life in fuller, healthier, more authentic ways …
Do you think you’re “just too”?
Melinda, what are you talking about?? What does that mean??
Often, when new clients visit me, they tell me they’re just “too.”
They’ve been told they’re too sensitive …
Too conscientious.
Too serious.
Too emotional.
Too responsible.
Just TOO much.
Too, too, too.
Ugh.
When the world is loud, and you don’t feel seen, it’s not hard to start believing there’s something wrong with you. That maybe they’re right, and if you were just a little less …
If you can relate, let me assure you: you are not TOO much.
You’re not! You’re you, and “you” are a complex human living in a body with needs that can’t be minimized.
And it can really help to know you’re not alone – to understand that we all share certain traits and commonalities, in different combinations.
Those combinations play a part in how we respond to things in our life both internally and externally. They also have a lot to do with how we relate to and get along with others.
Once you have a handle on that understanding, things can really start to change.
You can learn to see yourself in a different light through Enneagram therapy.
“Okay, Melinda, you keep using that word. But what is Enneagram therapy??”
Hey, great question!
The Enneagram is a rich, comprehensive framework that uses nine distinct personality patterns to help us understand the strategies we use for survival.
Like …
Type 1
The Reformer/Perfectionist
This type strives to do everything “right” but struggles to acknowledge that “just fine” is – well – just fine.
This type tends to:
- Be ethical, dedicated, reliable, critical of self and others
- Focused on what could be better, what’s wrong
- Be motivated by a desire to live the right way, improve the world
- Avoid fault and blame
Type 2
The Befriender/Helper
This type’s heart for others could warm up the coldest winter day but rarely considers checking in with themselves to see what their own needs are.
This type tends to:
- Be warm, friendly, caring, giving, others-oriented
- Focus on being connected to others
- Be motivated by a need to be liked/loved and needed
- Avoid rejection, acknowledging and expressing own needs
Type 3
The Achiever/Performer
This type, for whom words like “high-achieving,” “productive,” and “successful” are a love language, would rather run for the hills than look like a failure.
This type tends to:
- Be success-oriented, productive, high achieving, image-conscious
- Focus on tasks, goals, success, image
- Be motivated by a need to be (or appear to be) successful
- Avoid failure (and appearing to fail)
Type 4
The Romantic/Individualist
This type is the constant striver with huge, often-conflicting feelings, who will climb a mountain in search of authenticity (and also because they’re afraid they’ll be plain old ordinary if they don’t!).
This type tends to:
- Be creative, emotionally/aesthetically sensitive, moody, self-absorbed
- Focus on emotions, the state of relationships, being authentically oneself, what’s missing
- Be motivated by a need to be understood and to experience their oversized feelings
- Avoid being ordinary or like others
Type 5
The Observer/Investigator
This type’s keen analytical sense means they like to rely on themselves and as few other people as possible.
This type tends to:
- Be analytical, objective, detached, and private
- Focus on knowledge, privacy, managing energy/space/resources
- Be motivated by a need to gain knowledge, conserve energy
- Avoid relying on others, emotions
Type 6
The Devils Advocate/Contrarian/Loyalist
This type is the wittiest and most practical of their friends, who is also secretly terrified of uncertainty and the specter of instability.
This type tends to:
- Be committed, practical, and witty; analytical and strategic
- Focus on risk, danger, and threats; preparing for the worst
- Be motivated by fear and the need to feel safe and secure
- Avoid uncertainty and spontaneity
Type 7
The Epicure/Adventurer/Enthusiast
This type’s never-ending pursuit of fun and adventure masks a deep avoidance of pain and discomfort.
This type tends to:
- Be fun, upbeat, spontaneous, and adventurous
- Focus on pleasure, positives, possibilities
- Be motivated by a need to be happy, to plan stimulating/exciting experiences
- Avoid pain and discomfort
Type 8
The Challenger
This type’s intense need for control makes them natural leaders (and also really, really afraid of being vulnerable or controlled themselves).
This type tends to:
- Be commanding, high intensity, and confrontational
- Focus on power, control, and the big picture
- Be motivated by a need to be strong
- Avoid feeling week or vulnerable, being exploited or betrayed
Type 9
The Peacemaker
This type strives for a calm journey for all, above all else, and often at the expense of knowing themselves.
This type tends to:
- Be pleasant, laid back, accommodating, and emotionally steady
- Focus on others, what’s happening in the environment
- Be motivated by a need to keep the peace, achieve harmony, merge with others
- Avoid conflict, anger, separation from others
In the past, these strategies worked pretty well to help us fulfill our needs. But as we’ve grown, we’ve started to bump up against their limitations – what once helped us deal with pain is now the reason we’re experiencing it to begin with.
We’ve realized it’s time to grow beyond these strategies and behaviors. We need healthier, more sustainable ways of engaging with the world.
And that’s why I LOVE this tool.
I use Enneagram therapy to help you gain awareness and growth.
An understanding of your Enneagram type becomes a jumping-off point for deep discovery around the subconscious patterns you’re in. And then?
How to leave those unhelpful patterns behind like that haircut you had in middle school. (You know the one.)
I know you WANT to show up in fuller ways.
You WANT healthier habits.
You want to be less reactive and more proactive – more in control of how your needs are met.
You want to be authentic, and you want to be YOU.
And with Enneagram therapy, you totally can be.
Ready to begin your healing journey?
I'm based in San Jose, and I love my California clients – but I'm all about working with you if you're about working with me! If we aren't local to each other, please get in touch. I do offer telehealth appointments.